Jiah Khan’s Letter
“ I don’t know how to
say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve
already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already
left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this
but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you.
Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not
wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future
with you. But you shattered my dreams. The career is not even worth it
anymore. When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined.
Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I
don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the
rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve
this.I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became
increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your
life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay
here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career
and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you.
About you cheating on me.
No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I
did. I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here,
but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when
the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats
on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their
house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love I
always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I
had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the
face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent
whatever ambition you took it all away.The Goa trip was my birthday
present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our
baby when it hurt me deeply.I spent money on you selflessly you would
throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this
world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you.
I dreamt of our future. I dreamt of our success. I leave this place
with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to
go to sleep and never wake up again.I am nothing. I had everything. I
felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and
vulnerable. I am so much more than this”
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